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Writer's Block: Dress to Impress

What's your dream outfit for a holiday party this year?

my dream outfit would be to wear a beautiful christmas dress. i am heavy and have stuggled with my wieght i would like to be in better shape by christmas now i know i cant lose 30pds by christmas but i would be happy with 10 or 15. i dont know how likey that is to happen but its what i want. probably something short sleeved knee length green or silver or red flowy and loose but not too loose. with a u neck i think it is called. and some nice shoes. :)

Writer's Block: My Dream Job

What's your dream job? Are you qualified for it? If not, would that stop you from taking it if it were offered to you?

my dream job is to know what my dream job is  cause i have no idea i am completely lost

Writer's Block: Say cheese

Do you generally like or hate when people take photos of you? Do you feel anxious when friends post pictures of you online? Is your first inclination to link to them or hide them?

i feel anxious i feel many things part of me like have photos and the other part hates it   it makes me  not feel good because i dont feel comfortable with my self like other people  and it makes me sad

Jun. 6th, 2010


things have been so crazy i have been taking a summer class and i have been trying to get into shape too and  the personal compliacated things in my life is so over whelming i feel like just running away   its so uggg grrr its maddening and more


so much to do and i ....its.... uggghhhh i need a vacation !!!

i dont know if i feel so stressed from lack of sleep or i am just really sad because of situation or how my life is currently or being over cause it can wear you out  any advice people?  or lack  of excrcise ? i wish i knew for sure

li wish i could fix things i wish i had some one to help me  its been  crazy and i wish i could think of more words to describe it but i cant 



Jun. 2nd, 2010

things have been really hard lately i have deadlines and assignments and along with the stress i feel it piles on and i am afraid i wont be able to do it all and finish everything  , but i am going to keep trying like excerciseing i am trying to get into shape and not just like losing ten pounds if it was only that i would be sooo happy if only that was the only thing i had to worry about but its not and my personal stress

life is just ....... right now its just a struggle and a pain stress basically everywhere i will keep trying :) keep on truckin' as they used to say hahaha

Writer's Block: Oh no not I

How do you recover from a bad break-up? The proverbial pint of ice cream? Quality time alone? Going out with friends? What are your personal healing strategies?

i think its different for eveyone the first step of bad break up but i also think people who go through a break up also end up doing all of them sooner or later.
ugghhh today is uggh so suckish i am gonna feel so tired but everything just feels so grimey and icky and hard to describe esides that
life is just so uggg right now and i am not talk about the shoes or boots or whatever they are  i mean life is complicated and stressful sometimes i wonder things like is it worth it all will it ever change sometimes i wish things could go back to like they were before  they werent that great but it was better than now and if i could go back i would change some things or at least try  :( i just feel like i am dealing with it alone :( i need to excercise not just for health or to get into shape but its supposed to help with stress  but  really for me thats not even the right word i just feel so ............... sad i guess and more like   ............welll not even sure what to put there sometimes i wonder is this a nightmare or a dream am i sleeping sometimes it feels like things that happen they just seem so bad that it could never happen in really life
*sigh**************  i dont want my life to be like it is but its difficult to change things  sometimes i feel like just crying and crying till i cant cry anymore or i stop or run out of tears all te stuff going on just makes me sad no one understands  i try and i think they try some but it just doesnt fit

i should excercise more  if only to escape a little bit from everything going on   sometimes i wonder whats the point of it all?
why should i get  up why should i do this  or that theres no purpose its not like i am going to make a difference in any ones life how will i make a change or affect  someone elses life in a good way how will they benefit from knowing me or how will i be able to help them in anyway  how can i help them when i cant even help my self i wish things could change  for the better  just thinking about the things that i think will happen and not for the better it will be worse it makes me want to cry  as i am writing this and thinking about all the complications in my life all the bad stuff i feel like crying

everyone wants to know the purpose of life and so on and much much more what i want to know is

What is my purpose?

i feel like theres something else i should be doing but i dont know what 

its like knowing you forgot something but cant remember what  i wish i had a cristal ball to help me

i will just have to suffer it and suffer it alone because i have no one no one that i feel i can depend on  when push comes to shove i dont think any would help who the hell knows though only God and he isnt giving me any answers about anything

i wish i had some god dammn answers to know that everything is going to be  ok and soon like tomorrow or a good day tomorrow i feel like everything is crashing down when u get bad news more bad crap happens and its like shit can life get any worse and then it does

Writer's Block: And The Best Movie Is...

From 3D epics to sidesplitting comedies to angst-filled vampire thrillers, this was a standout year for movies. Which flick would you award the honor of Best Movie?

well i havent seen alot from this year but if just from the ads i would say alice in wonderland valentines day  and wait when did valentines day comes out feels like so long ago and  oh theres one more and i forgot cant remember

but i saw letters to juliet so good  and beautiful rome italy i think gorgeous :)
these last two days have been so long its only been two days and it feels like a week hey if i have any readers send some positive messages of encouragement trying to get into shape ugh grrr and i need to do it consistenly and i think will your guys message or post or whatever i will actually do it